living it low in Hastings
by markab
Summary: Depressed Jackson ran away. Some of what he got up to. Bored really...might only be readable to my regulars.


I DO NOT OWN EMMERDALE OR IT 'S CHARACTERS...THEY BELONG TO ITV1

_**JUNE 2015**_

_**A/N JUST A SMALL SNAPSHOT OF WHERE JACKSON GOT TO WHEN HE WENT MISSING...**_

Jackson was heading to the soup kitchen. How long had it been since he walked away from Bar West and into the night?

That's was anyones guess...because he had lost all track of time now...several nights sleeping on the beach and a park bench...everyday ran into one, must of been quite a few days, judging by the stubble growth.

Why had he done it...he had been drunk as a scunk, and high on god knows what...didn't care a toss...about everything and everyone...fuck Work...Fuck Aaron...Fuck Dad...fuck the fucking lot of them...

They said they knew HOW he was feeling...

They knew jack all.

He left Bar West...left Joe...and the rest of them...and managed to get himself a cab to the station. Some girls were showing their tits off to him as he sat in the rank tripping...dirty bitches...but with his winning smile who could blame them...he threw them his builders hard hat and told them, or rather slurred, go and ride on something hard.

He didn't know why, but at the rail station, he laid down on a bench and slept the booze and drugs off. And then the next morning, he bought a ticket on impulse, to London.

In London, he decided he wanted to see the sea, so he did...and bought a ticket to the south coast.

Why, he didn't know...but what he DID know was, that he had one big, fuck off hangover and just maybe the sea air would clear it. But he could've just gone to Whitby or something...travelling all these hours on the train to the south coast was abit extreme wasn't it? But then again, he was having some really wierd thoughts lately.

Joining Mum was one of them...but Mum was dead...did that mean he wanted to die in all?

The beach was okay...it was abit stoney...or shinglely. But everybody seemed to be having a whale of a time.

Hastings...that were it...he'd been down here as a boy, Dad had taken them down and they stayed the week in a leakly old caravan.

That was WHY he was here...wasn't it? Because now he kept questioning what the fuck was going off in that head of his.

Night after night on the beach. Then a couple in the park for shelter, when it got to cold and windy on the beach.

That first night...his phone was non stop...FUCK OFF! That was all he could think about saying to them...but he didn't answer.

Why were they bugging him...ALL HE WANTED WAS TO BE LET ALONE FOR GODS SAKE!

Fish and chips.

There were plenty of them around, and he lived on that for a couple of days.

There was nowt else to do...he'd walk around the old town, then accasionally went for a pint, but he had to be careful, because his money was running low.

Washing was easy, he'd use the public toilets. It was a quick wash mind, because most of the bogs stunk to high heaven.

And one time, he was propostioned by some dirty old man who was dangling his cock out at him. He gave the bloke daggers with his eyes and walked off.

Forcing himself out from his thoughts, and sometimes they were dark, he stepped into line and got his soup and bread and a brew.

That youth was in here again, the one called...he couldn't remember...but he dodged him and went to sit on his own.

The youth spotted him and went to join him.

"What's your name again?"

Jackson looked up to the lad as he slurped his soup. He must of only been about 16 or so. His hair was wavy and he had quite a sweet smile.

"Errrrr...Jack...what's yours?"

"Eddie"

Jackson raised his eyebrowes, "Is that your REAL name?"

Eddie smirked and threw back the question, "Is Jack yours...?"

Jackson broke off a bit of bread and dunked it into his soup. It was hot and tomato, which was nice because it was his favourite. Mum used to make it all the time...

"Shit, I never got my roll", Eddie said staring at the bread in Jackson's grasp. The builder broke a piece off and handed it over, "I've got enough, have some of mine"

Eddie was hesitate, but took the bread. Jackson stirred the spoon through his soup and looked up at the youth, "So'a...you run away from home then?"

Eddie screwed his face up, "What's it to you?"

Jackson shrugged, part of him didn't really care, "Just asking..."

Eddie sat back and picked up his mug, "I found out that my Mum isn't my Mum...infact my whole life is one big fat lie"

Jackson hazzarded a guess, "You've just found out that you're adopted?"

Eddie didn't answer, infact he just carried on, "All those years...thinking that I am someone, but I'm not"

Jackson finished off his soup and sat back, "Look...you're still YOU aren't yah...alot of folk don't know they're adopted till they are older...me mate Joe is adopted"

Eddie looked around them, the soup kitchen was thinning out now. He looked at the builder, "So...you're not from around here...you come from up north..."

Jackson flashed him a sarcastic grin, "My Accent must be a right give away "

"Okay...I feel like a right burk now for telling you that I've run out on me parents, JUST BECAUSE I found out that I'm adopted...what's YOUR story then..."

Jackson shrugged the question off, "It's nowt really...just me being abit of a pratt...", he bored his dark eyes into the lad,"...I've always been abit of a pratt me..."

"You're not gonna tell me, are you?"

Jackson leaned forward, "I'm abit depressed...I needed a shed load of space and went and got it...", he swallowed, "My kid died...then there was issues with me...wife and that...and then...someone drowned and it was my fault..."

The builder jumped up, took his tray and was off. Eddie was after him, collecting up his own tray, "Hey wait up...where are you staying tonight? I know of this really nice hostel in Hastings"

Jackson turned to him with his hands in his pockets, "Look...no offence, but I really don't want any company...I wanna be on me own, like"

"Yeah you said...space and all that...but...I'd like abit of company..."

Jackson sighed, rolled his eyes, and nodded to the exit, "Well come on...go and show me this hostel of yours..."

Eddie looked all excited and was out of the soup kitchen like a whippet, Jackson followed behind.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The sun was low, but still warm. They strolled up the old town and Eddie lead Jackson towards the beach. The sea air was gentle on both of their faces as they hit the shingled beach.

"So where are you from" asked Jackson, turning to him.

Eddie shrugged, "I'm from Kent... Maidstone...Haven't run as far as you..."

Jackson hinted a smile, "I'm from Yorkshire...look you should go home...they'd be worried about yah...your mum and dad"

"They are NOT my Mum and dad"

"They are...they brought you up, didn't they? You can at least ring them...I'd be worried...if you were my son"

"I thought you said your kid died", told Eddie, trying to make it sound like he had caught him out.

Jackson stared out to the channel, "My baby daughter died...but I have a son...and...and I miss him like mad...so, yeah I can tell you this...CALL THEM...they'll be at their witts end, otherwise"

Eddie nodded, "We had an argument...maybe they don't want me back"

Jackson blew out a laugh, "Errrrrr...I think they would"

Eddie shrugged and started to move along the shingles, "I can't, I have no cash..."

Jackson dug into his pockets and pulled out some shrapnel...he picked out a 20 pence and gave it him, "go call them...there's a phone box over there in that car park"

Eddie looked at the 20p in his palm, then smiled at Jackson and hurried off.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The hostel was small and cramped, but Jackson and Eddie managed to share the same area. Jackson shook his head impressed, "Well...I've had me shower, i've had a shave, I'm all warm and dry, what more can a ask for"

"YOU'VE GOTTA PHONE!"

Eddie was looking at him with a scowl, "I could've called me Mum on that"

Jackson realised he had his iphone in his grasp, "Yeah...but I've got no credit mate...so'a...no you couldn't of"

Eddie snatched up the phone and saw the image of the boy on the wallpaper, "Is that your son?"

Looking a tad annoyed, Jackson snatched the phone back, "Yeah it is, so...just don't go taking me stuff again, do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear"

Jackson settled back and turned to him, "Look...so your Mum said you can go back and everything's gonna be okay...just go home tomorrow...believe me, I'd be pleased, you'll be out of my hair"

Eddie looked at him, "cheers for that"

Jackson shrugged, " No probs..." he said with a tad of sarcasm, "But go back...get the train or something...be back in YOUR OWN BED tomorrow night...because you'd be mad if you're not"

"I've GOT no money"

Jackson pulled out his wallet and handed him a tenner, "That should cover it...I drew it out earlier, remember...you should go back"

Eddie hesitated at first, then took the tenner. Jackson shoved his wallet and phone under his pillow and faced away from him closing his eyes, "Now, just shut yah mouth...I want to get some shuteye me..."

Eddie looked at him, smile fading, then settled down in his own cot.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jackson slept soundly that night. Best night he had for a fair while infact. Thanks to Eddie. But when he rose his head off from the pillow to turn to the other cot the next morning, it was vacant. Eddie had gone.

"Charming...not even a goodbye" he muttered to himself.

He reached under the pillow and looked at his phone, two missed calls...Aaron was one of them...but he wasn't gonna listen to it, he then pulled out the wallet. It was open...freaking out, he opened it out to see that his cash card had gone.

"Fucking cunt!", he seethed.

You help someone...and that's the thanks you get.

That day, he stomped up and down the high street looking out for him, but there was no sign. Was he heading back to Mum and dads to Kent with his cash...was he heck...it was probably a shed load of bullshit that he fell for.

Eddie was no doubt a scumbag headcase.

He punched the wall and made his knuckles bleed for being so stupid.

How he ended up at beachey head, he didn't know. He had just walked and walked and walked.

He looked down to the waves crashing up at the base of the cliff.

He could jump.

Yeah...that'll be it...he could jump and there would be no more need to worry. Over anything. Those waves looked so alluring...just like they did in Spain that time.

Placing his phone and wallet down onto the grass, he went and stood over the edge and looked down again. The wind in his hair.

His mum was calling him. He could see her in the waves at the base of the cliffs...she was calling him.

Come on my beautiful boy, don't be afraid, jump in...come back to me my love, your old mum's lonely down here...

That was what she was saying...he could hear her telling him in his head. It was clear as day.

His heart was racing as his brown eyes focused on the waves on the rocks below...his Mum's voice guiding him...

He edged a foot nearer to the edge.

Jack'll be fine with Sarah and Mike...and he'll still see Aaron.

He'd go without nowt between them.

Come on my little angel, come and join me...I'm so lonely without you...

"I coming Mum...I want to come" anguished Jackson. His face screwed up and the tears rolling down his cheeks.

His breathing worked overtime as he readied himself to fall over the cliff...he closed his eyes.

"I love you Aaron..."

But at that split second some old woman was walking her dog not too far away. But it was the little boy she was with that drew his attention and snapped him back to reality...Jackson bolted backwards and ran off...he paniked...he felt like he was going to be in trouble like he was doing something wrong.

The woman looked at him as he ran away, then saw the wallet and phone, because the dog was sniffing round them.

_**JULY 2015**_

Jackson had spent a few more nights in the hostel. He wanted to lose himself further. Stay hidden and out of sight to the world, but then he kept dreaming of Jack.

He missed Jack. Ever since he saw that boy on the cliff top with that old woman, he couldn't stop thinking about him.

That afternoon, he sat in the park and watched the father and son feed the ducks. He had done that with Jack years ago. He wished he could do that now.

Was Jack missing him? He certainly missed Jack.

More than anything and anyone.

He stood up and nodded at the father and son and walked off. Maybe he should go home. Only if it was only to see Jack.

He didn't want to see anyone else. It didn't seem important to him.

He still thought about jumping off that cliff. Further away from that the better...he'd be out of harms way...wouldn't he?

He crossed the street and saw the red phone box. He dug deep ito his combat trousers, but he didn't have any change on him. He looked up and down the street then saw a woman walk up...she seemed a kind woman, looked abit like Mum...

"excuse me love, can you spare us some money for the phone, please...", he asked, forcing on a smile for her.

The woman must of felt sorry for him, and handed him over a pound coin from her purse.

He hurried back into the phone box and keyed in the number to dads land line.

"Come on come on...Hi...Eileen? Is that you...it's me...it's Jackson...its me dad there...please..."

There was a pause.

"...dad?...I'm coming home..."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

THE END

Comments always welcome.


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